trailofblood | question meme

well you've already accomplished some of this since i last replied so lol A+ GOOD JOB

THE PROBLEM WITH ME is that I never really have plans for anything, I just kinda go with the flow. As far as pipe dreams though I really want him to continue amassing a loli army that then beats him up when he's being stupid. I'd really like for him to open up/genuinely trust more people in general (he's slowly getting there!!) because it'd be fun to play and also good for him to let more people in. In that vein I'm hoping people start to dig under his surface of Vashness a little and figure out he's a fridge horror mess underneath.

There's also some heavier stuff I'm looking forward to playing with, like the inevitable ethical implications of his existence and him wondering if he even has any right to exist; having people around to backhand him will be especially helpful there. Wondering to himself what he's going to do about Knives, and depending on memories, probably worry that he'll fail or has already failed. He's also going to have to face the inevitable realization that not everyone can always be saved, especially in Kyr, which will be like the equivalent of his having to choose to shoot Legato. So that'll be... fun.

Also the gay and the domestic, yes. Just being 100% married, I want it. I'll know we've succeeded when Vash considers questing for a pull-out daybed thing for his room.

Tell me about Pound's worst insecurities & fears because I enjoy characters' pain

punching will continue until belief that you have a right to exist improves

SOME OF HIS FEARS ARE PRETTY OBVIOUS or straightforward, I mean, his people getting killed and all, dying himself (though that's a more complicated issue in Kyriakos what with revivals; some deaths would be more traumatic for him than others). He's afraid of what more his memories might hold since that's totally gone great so far, and as we know he can get insecure about his own strength/existential meaning when faced with something impossibly powerful. This hasn't been as pertinent with the Echoes since they use their power in very specific ways, but he's not ignorant of just how much they're capable of and the only reason he hasn't tried to attack Nyssa is because he knows how badly that could go for him and. yeah. :'D

Going a little deeper, he's constantly afraid that a game or something will happen where he'll have to make a shitty choice(s), because he knows he will. And he kinda fears on Vash's behalf too because he knows how much it fucks him up to have to deal with choices involving people's lives or well-being. And like I said it's not that he wouldn't do it, and he'd do it for Vash's sake too given the chance, but he's like welp once I do that vash and probably other people will hate me and I'm just gonna have to accept that. #someone's gotta show their fangs or someone else is gonna cry

He's also got some insecurities in regards to. well. Being a physically modified assassin and all. He doesn't remember the kids or anything, but even without that he's still got that monster with bloodstained hands!!1! complex going on under the surface. That's not something that comes into play around Vash so much as around kids or anyone more innocent or 'pure', and even then he just masks it unless hugs or something happen and then he dies a little inside

And let's not forget that time he mercykilled vash!!! THAT SURE ISN'T A THING HE WANTS TO DO AGAIN. Killing his people himself is even worse than not being able to save them. And Vash is his ~*~special friend~*~ after all!!1! And you could say it's a fear/insecurity I guess, but like where he was all ??? and not accepting that Vash worried that much about him- he can't really accept that because on a more subconscious level he's still afraid of trusting people, even Vash. Kind of because of what I said before, where he's silently telling himself 'I'm a shitty person who does shitty things so they're going to hate me eventually anyway.' coughself-fulfillingprophecycough. He's managed to accept that he's a close friend of Vash's, but somehow being THAT important to him is like. haha nope can't comprehend too busy being an expendable piece of shit

(if he could there would probably have been makeouts by now i mean jesus christ)

Reverse because I also enjoy characters' pain. Also what are Vash's current feelings on the Eye of Michael/Chapel now that he's heard about them?

Okay well re: Eye of Michael/Chapel: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What he knows is:

Assassins
Plant worshipers
PROBABLY kidnapped Wolfwood
DEFINITELY TORTURED WOLFWOOD FOR AT LEAST 4 YEARS
PROBABLY under Knives' supervision in some way bc Plant worshipers
Did we mention plANT WORSHIPERS AND TORTURING WOLFWOOD

Right now Master C just kind of blends into the general horror category of the Eye rather than as a DISTINCT horror, but memories will change that, like whenever he remembers the Ark. And I'm taking the official translation for that one over the scanlation bc he straight-up tells Master C to FUCK RIGHT OFF and that moment was important to me. BUT ANYWAY.

He's very very quietly distressed because he's scratched the surface of Wolfwood's fucked up past and he doesn't like it AT ALL, he has reason to think that Knives is actually crazy enough to set up a friggin religion for himself (and Vash??? HE DOESN'T KNOW), and there is not one but TWO organization of people-torturing assassin freaks running around at home. That they remember. There may even be more.

TL;DR HE'S REALLY REALLY REALLY DISTRESSED but he's compartmentalizing it like he always does. Starting to think he needs a vice of his own, just not smoking. Cuz gross.

RE: Insecurities & fears!

His biggest fear is hands down not being able to save/help people, which is a p. legit fear to be having in Kyr, and one he's going to have to confront and overcome repeatedly. He's afraid of the weakness he's gleaned in Queen, because this whole realm is dependent on her. He's afraid of Nyssa or other shitty Echoes amassing enough power to pose a greater threat than they already do. He's afraid of not being able to stop/break this system in anyway way. ETC ETC ETC

More and more lately he's also afraid of people he cares about ending up in the pods, especially Wolfwood, since he was already down there before. Wolfwood in particular he's slowly becoming more emotionally dependent on (which will freak him out once he realizes it) and he's been lucky so far in that none of his good friends have really gone away. But he's seeing it happen to other people and it is balllssssss. He doesn't have his canon-self's aversion to becoming really attached to people on a personal level, so he's setting himself up for a lot of heartache later.

VERY INSECURE ABOUT HAIR SPIKE INFERIORITY (do I kid, am I serious, who knows)

So what's up with Wolfwood's bizarre honesty hour and is that gonna last, or should Vash savor it while it's there

bizarre honesty hour lol

Well, as I've mentioned before he's been feeling kinda shitty for deliberately keeping stuff from Vash after he'd been open about things with him that he didn't need to be (and then got butthurt about pound doing said hiding thing) (yet hilariously he still hasn't told him about the age thing which is what triggered butthurt in the first place).

So in a nutshell it's a combination of that, continuing to get closer to Vash, Star locking them in a room to talk about how they're ~*~special friends~*~, and that memory flower. And also Wolfwood's tendency to sabotage himself around Vash really, though 'sabotage' in the cynical sense of giving Vash more to worry about while showing him what he feels are his worst sides. So it's more like he's choosing to open up and show a little more vulnerability around Vash while having stupid mixed feelings about it, because he kinda feels like Vash SHOULD be judging him harder than he is but of course he isn't which is both predictable and frustrating but also kind of a relief?? And he's still full of DEAL WITH MY OWN PROBLEMS MYSELF feelings which. I suppose he's hit this point where he's accepting that Vash is pretty well involved in his life both back home and here, and while he still doesn't want his help with some things he can at least tell him about them- and honestly he kind of wanted to be able to tell someone, it's just really hard for him to with all his other feelings about it. But sharing that with Vash is a weight off his shoulders, relatively small as it may be. If he knew just how distressed Vash was over it he'd regret telling him but. :'D

Honesty hour may or may not last, at this point he may pretty much tell Vash things if he directly asks about them.

tl;dr he's a mess around vash but vash also helps him to be less of a mess. . . also social rank up

So how does Vash feel about all that ~*~special friend~*~ business, and maybe elaborate on how he'll freak out when he realizes his emotional dependence on wolfwood?

ASKS ALL KINDS OF INVASIVE QUESTIONS like what his favorite color and food are

lmfaoooo the ~*~special friend~*~ business... I should preface this by saying that he takes nothing Star says overly seriously BUT it's true that he doesn't mentally categorize Wolfwood the way he does his other friends, and it's not really just a trust thing. Wolfwood honestly is the #1 person in his life, and in canon that kind of happened accidentally as a matter of circumstances, but here their friendship is an actual concentrated effort on both of their parts, and that - matters a lot, to him? With the amount of compromising and careful work and consideration they put into it, it's honestly like they already ARE in a relationship, just without the romance. And he doesn't really think about romance ever, but frankly if he did, he wouldn't really have any objections. THE HURDLE HERE IS WOLFWOOD, GOOD JOB

The emotional dependence freakout probably won't be until further down the line, when he has more memories and more complexes and more reasons to remember that trust is a finnicky thing and emotional ties are dangerous. When we meet him in canon, his distance from everyone is such a flippant, inherent thing that I feel like it just got knocked into him over time; he moves around a lot, people die a lot, he lives FOREVER and humans don't, he's a dangerous guy to be around, he's got monster issues, so all these factors combine to make him an emotionally distant person. And as he gets those issues back he'll realize that being this intertwined with people is probably not a SUPER great idea, for him OR them, and will then

I don't even know

Probably have a quiet crisis over it, but I doubt he'd have the heart to actually push people away, especially if it's that far down the line.

my mind is blanking but if you have more self-indulgent questions left in your big bag of self-indulgent questions, fire away

excuse u vash's romance dumb is clearly also a hurdle here

shuffles through big bag of self-indulgent questions

What would Vash do if Pound did get re-podded? Also would Vash have any kind of reaction if Pound started romancing/dating someone else

He wouldn't do... much... because I mean there's not much to do. He'd probably doodle on his pod again in the VAIN HOPE that trick'll work twice, but then he'd just have to compartmentalize that and move on like he always does. He'd probably make a point of watching out for Omelettes in his absence, and also probably come drop by his pod to talk at him instead of actually talking to anyone else about how shitty he feels bc hahahaha nah. But he'd also be convinced Wolfwood will wake up eventually, which helps. And in some small way it'd be a relief, because at least Wolfwood doesn't have to face things like bad games or bad memories while he's sleeping. Vash would just quietly miss him basically all the time but suck it up, right.

Re: the second thing, honestly, priority numero uno is always Wolfwood's happiness, so if Wolfwood were happy, that's all that really matters to him. There would probably be some requisite 'oh.......' there but it wouldn't be a conscious thing and it would be ruthlessly smothered, in any case. He'd even wingman for him if it came to that, he'd just have to ignore his own feelings in the process.

SAME QUESTIONS I'M ORIGINAL

he'd wake up just to punch him in the face for all that

ha hA well it'd probably be fairly similar for Pound, though it may take a little more effort for him to compartmentalize that and when he does it might. overshoot into 'okay nts don't get close to people like that because shit like this will happen??' thanks cynicism

But he would expect him to wake back up one day, same as he does for Livio. And he'd also feel that maybe this is a sort of good thing because Vash wouldn't have to deal with murdergames & memories. But with both of them down there and no one around he feels he can truly open up around (or to tell him I Believe In You™), he might slip back into more jaded and lonely ways of thinking.

As for the other thing, are you kidding he'd be a little shit and mercilessly tease and berate vash for it while internally having a jealous crisis. Which would probably turn into an external crisis if vash confronted him about it and IT'D BE MESSY JUST DON'T DO IT

okay but while we're getting all gay up in here, what if for whatever inexplicable reason pound just came right out to vash and said "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." What do.

Accuse him of having hit his head or otherwise having impaired judgement

Are you ok Wolfwood?? Did something happen?? Do we need to take you to a doctor

HE BASICALLY WOULDN'T TAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT SERIOUSLY AT ALL LMAO especially coming from Wolfwood, sorry pal. Gruff not-confessions buried inside insults are about all he could ever really expect from Wolfwood and anything else just wouldn't parse through his Wolfwood-to-English translator

Or he'd get butthurt and accuse him of making fun of him, ALSO POSSIBLE........

IF IT TURNS OUT there's some kind of option for characters who've died in their worlds to return to said worlds, would Wolfwood go back to Gunsmoke? Or would he fuck off to another world entirely? OR STAY DEAD?? (This assumes they've won, so fully memoried is in effect)

it's true he'd probably be under some kind of status effect to say something like that, face in hands

STAYING DEAD SOUNDS LIKE A SHITTY OPTION so crosses that one off the list. But while it would be tempting to go to another world, if he knew Vash was going back, he'd go back too. Which would be a somewhat easier choice with all their memories back because lol no more knives and assassins and shit, but. It's still Gunsmoke. And if he hasn't gotten over his issues he'd probably still avoid going to see the other orphans. Regardless of any prodding and shoving vash might give him to that effect shut up spikey.

If this did happen, how would Vash feel about Wolfwood following him around even after everything is over? ~~Would they settle down and get a house and adopt twelve kids to torture vash daily~~

if they're adopting twelve orphan kids they might as well be YOUR orphan kids, Wolfwood, you absolute fucking moron :'|

Vash obviously wouldn't mind it at all - it would give him a chance to show Wolfwood how much the world has changed even in the short time since he died, and more selfishly, it'd be nice to just... have somebody he trusts around. After Kyr, where he's constantly surrounded by people he really likes and trusts to some degree, going back to planet Everybody's-Trying-To-Kill-Me will be kinda bittersweet. So having Wolfwood around will mitigate that at least somewhat. ... And iirc he's also being pursued by Earth's Federation Forces on top of the typical bounty hunters so it'd be nice to have a good gun at his back. It'll be kinda like old times only with less apocalypse hanging over their heads, which means they might even enjoy it.

And then maybe after a while he'll decide the world is doing a good enough job taking care of itself now and he can go live as a nondescript black-floppy-haired loser somewhere with his grumpy companion and a cat and a bunch of orphan kids. Meryl and Milly can come too but they gotta stow the TV cameras at the door.

So when Wolfwood remembers what his ACTUAL mission was (to guide/safely deliver Vash to Knives rather than kill him), how's he gonna take that? Will that be better or worse?

I'm sure vash would bug him until he caves to seeing his orphan kids again anyway :'|

B...oth... The memory itself (assuming he finds out through the memory of receiving that mission) will suck because lol was gonna kill knives but OVERWHELMING PRESENCE AND FEAR OF LOSING HIS LIFE. So it was his own powerlessness and cowardice that led to being given this task, while also instilling this feeling of hopelessness because if he couldn't stop him then, how can he expect to ever do it or escape??? So that'll make it worse because it drives home how he ended up so bound to this role.

On the other hand, he already knows that despite that he's been fighting back- he won't be sure if killing other Gung-Ho Guns was a part of that, since Ninelives was calling him a traitor but killing Rai-Dei was technically in line with his 'orders.' But the memory of rescuing(??) Vash while Livio and Chapel tried to murder him seemed pretty clearly something of his own choosing.

As far as all that goes in Kyriakos, he will be glad to know he wasn't sent to kill Vash because that means a lot less chance of having tried to kill him in some upcoming memory. :'D But it also means a boost to his discomfort re: Plants and that he's essentially going to deliver Vash to his crazy brother, which still sucks and is bad?? So in short I guess it'll be a little bit of good re: not being sent to kill him, but a lot of bad re: failing to stop knives and following those orders out of fear and hopelessness.

So, Tesla. How will Vash deal with remembering what happened to her (and the events surrounding it if you put that in one memory)?

I actually unlocked Tessla on his registry not long ago so HA HA HA WE'LL SEE.........

The memory itself is just going to be him & Knives breaking into the lab, finding the report, finding the corpse, and then passing out, but none of the stuff that happened after. So it's... definitely gonna be a huge kick in the teeth, because he has a memory of Knives telling him humanity would absolutely betray and hurt and try to exterminate them, which his knee-jerk response to is NO YOU'RE WRONG!!! but then there it is. Tessla. It 100% happened and humanity is shit. (And it will also definitively answer that question Wolfwood had about "what made him change?" while not at all answering "so why aren't you just like him?" hahahaha)

It'll probably also make him 100% more leery of telling anyone he's not human, because after he and Knives were ALL ABOUT!!! befriending humanity, they found out humanity basically doesn't see them as people at all and is willing to experiment on them TO DEATH for the sake of nothing more than curiosity. It's not that he'll suddenly snap and decide to hate humanity like he did when he was a kid, but it's a lot like finding out your closest friend keyed your car and let the air out of the tires and stole your girlfriend and got you fired and burned your house down all at once. Very... very disappointing... (and distressing). It would pretty effectively jumpstart his existential crisis, too, because wow are the Plants' lives really worth so little to people?? Why??

Will probably also cry a lot l o l it's gonna suck basically

What's Wolfwood gonna do if Vash lets him SEE that shard :')

Probably not be too surprised by the fact there were people who did something like that because #cynicism, but also be buttmad?? because I mean, she was a just a kid and they treated her as a lab rat and she was just a kid and he would suddenly be a lot more concerned for what exactly happened to Vash after that, not to mention it sucks that they saw something like that as kids.

But it might make him outright go 'they had no right to do that to her just because she wasn't human??' and if anyone rags on vash for not being human he'd punch them out for him :'|

Though would vash really even let him see that shard...

I'm actually blanking on questions for once YOU COME UP WITH SOMETHING

He actually probably would...

If only because he feels like Tessla needs to be remembered by as many people as possible, and he wants humans to realize that Plants Are People Too. It's sorta the same reason he let Wolfwood see the other Plant memory - he played it off like it was just too hard to explain and easier to show the shard (which WAS true, lbr), but the real reason he did it is because he wants people to realize Plants are people, especially bc he's been led to believe that humanity doesn't even know their magic lightbulbs are sentient.

The more people who know better, the more likely things can change, etc.

Not that he thinks Wolfwood doesn't see Plants as people, bc yooo they're best friends, but the way Wolfwood talks about Plants in general makes it sound like he still thinks of them in terms of "non-sentient lightbulb thing". Which is understandable!! ... But let's fix that.

With dead little girls, I guess.

Wow that became a ramble UHHHHHhhhh... what would Wolfwood's reaction be if Vash remembered his death before him, and chose to tell him about it?

He'd call bullshit if not for the fact vash would probably be a mess when telling him :'| so probably weak attempts at denial followed by asking him how it happened (I imagine the explanation would vary depending on what they remember at that point but the gist of it would be the same), annnnd either try to act like he's okay with how it happened (I imagine this would result in getting yelled at or something by vash because lol) before fucking off, or skip straight to fucking off for a while and get mad at things. Like bears. Get mad at bears and punch them. (He may still do this even if vash follows him, sry vash)

Then go ask around to see if he can go back alive, or otherwise not be dead once his mirror is complete. If he finds out he can, then yay, he'll still have to deal with that but at least he'll know he's not just putting himself back together to die again. If it looks like he can't, then he'd probs cycle through the remaining stages of grief (possibly returning to the anger stage repeatedly) while avoiding putting any more shards in his mirror.

Vice versa for Vash- what if Pound remembers first and then tells Vash about it?

C...ry.............

OK NO he would hold it together in front of Wolfwood, because Wolfwood's dealing with - you know - learning about his own friggin death, and the last thing Vash wants Wolfwood doing is worrying about HIM for God's sake. But he would take it very, very, VERY poorly and probably break down in private and then put it in the little bottle where Vash the Stampede puts all the other awful things he just can't deal with. And suddenly the prospect of going home will seem just a little bleaker, ha ha... ha...

He'd probably immediately confront Queen about the possibility of restoring people when their mirrors are completed, because why make them put themselves back together if they're just going to die again... that's just cruel... what the fuck etc. etc. And knowing Queen he'd probably get a vague cryptic answer that would amount to "well, maybe" and he would then latch onto that hope like his life depends on it and focus on the positives!! Potentials!! Etc!! WE'RE GUNNA SAVE U WOLFWOOD

If we're being grossly self-indulgent, how do you imagine Wolfwood's "wait shit he's hot" crisis evolving.

spoilers it's already evolving. A LITTLE. like in our latest thread when he got all broody he was also appreciating vash happily flopping on ivy and smiling.

But if it goes further he'll probably just kind of. ignore it. or not say anything. more like both. Except where it gets pointed out or is otherwise overbearing at which point flustered embarrassed teenager go. Like he's fine seeing Vash shirtless or whatever, but if it were like shirtless and also suddenly a game w/ 7 minutes in heaven locked in a closet together, things might get a little more awkward. Though he wouldn't have to be shirtless for that to be awkward anyway, I mean it's hard to punch someone properly when you're both big guys with that little elbow room.

Of course if he were to actually accept that he finds Vash attractive and also has gay feelings, he would maybe be a little less flustered about it but l m a o

does Vash find Wolfwood attractive at all tho, or would he if he actually thought about things like that ever

u fuckin loser...

IT'S HARD TO SAY, honestly he just really doesn't think about people in those terms at all?? Like I see his attraction being 90% emotional and intellectual (and frankly it's basically already THERE) and it's only after that's firmly established does he step back like "ok yes I can get behind this. nice. good."

So it would take being shoved into that closet and really squinting at him to go "YEAH OK A+ THIS IS A GOOD PACKAGE DEAL", at which point he will not suffer from the denial and idiocy that Wolfwood does about it, he'd just accept it and roll with it and pls calm down Wolfwood goddamn IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD

tl;dr, yes, just kiss already

I THINK I RAN OUT OF SELF-INDULGENT QUESTIONS.....

hmmmmmmmmm

well if all else fails there's always terrible traumatic scenario self-indulgent questions, so what if there was a zombie outbreak (coughthankselliecough) and it's going to be three days before the echoes can come out with a cure (it takes a day or two to turn) and wolfwood gets bitten

ok, important counter-question: does Wolfwood's fucked up regenerative Eye of Michael body lend him immunity to zombie viruses

. . . man if you ask me I'd say no and his increased metabolism would make the infection spread even faster.

you suck a lot

WELL if the question is "what would Vash do," he'd barricade Wolfwood up somewhere so he can't hurt others (or himself?!) and take responsibility for looking after him to whatever degree he can, that way nobody else is at risk. And probably go violently kick Queen's door down somewhere in the process. And internally freak out a lot, but he wouldn't let that guide his actions so much because yo all is not lost and we got shit to do in order to help curb/fix this SHOUNEN SHOUNEN ETC.

How would WOLFWOOD be dealing w/that situation

he'd probably shoot himself in the head before he could turn into a mindless flesh eating zombie thing, under the assumption vash will make sure he's revived once it's over

i think my next question here is implied

VASH LETS YOU STAY DEAD BECAUSE YOU'RE A STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE

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